Wednesday, September 17, 2014

My Reads: The Dieter's Guide to Weight Loss During Sex by Richard Smith

I've been wanting to bring something different to the table, so when I thought of this book, I naturally decided it was a perfect fit for this blog. I became acquainted with it at an early age; my mother won it as a gag gift at a store party when she worked for Sears. What was especially funny about this especially funny book is that if you knew my mother, you'd know that it was completely wasted on her. She wasn't going to have sex, so she'd just have to find another way to lose weight. What is this book, you ask? It's The Dieter's Guide to Weight Loss During Sex by Richard Smith.

If you're having trouble removing those last few stubborn pounds, this book just might be your answer. It starts off in the acknowledgements with the statement, "There are many to whom I am indebted but they wish, alas, to remain anonymous." And the hilarity only ramps up after that. Covering topics like "Getting Partner in Mood and Alerting Mutual Sensibilities" to "Rolling Over and Going to Sleep," all the bases are covered. There are chapters entitled "Getting Caught," "Almost Getting Caught," and "Fighting Off Pets."

And what will sex burn off exactly? Did you know that 62 minutes of chasing a partner around the room at a medium jog, or a two-hour pillow fight with 20-pound pillows, burns off one pint of ice cream. It's not specified if it's vanilla bean or rocky road, but I'm hoping it's rocky road just because I like that better.

In a chapter about becoming physically prepared for sex by conditioning, Smith says, "There are, of course, different methods of achieving erotic fitness. These include such vigorous exercise as tennis, skiing, bicycling, backgammon and sleeping on a cot." All through the book, there are tips for maximizing weight loss while still having smokin'-hot, backseat-rockin' sex you'd be proud to say you had if you were able to speak while panting from the sheer physical exertion.

All in all, the book is a veritable fount of information for the average person who simply isn't going to get out of bed to get a little exercise. It's all delivered with Smith's particular brand of humor, all tongue in cheek (no, that's not a weight loss method, although if it were glued there it would work), and just clever enough to make you ask yourself, "Hey, why didn't I think of that? Oh, yeah, there's that thing . . ." There's enough fun in this little volume to make you glad you read it, especially at the next party you attend when you get to say, "Did you know . , ."

Have fun. I'm headed in to lose 2.3 pounds.

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